Hitting bottom

There will be those times when I hit bottom. It works out alright in the end though. I can look up and see the rungs of the ladder I was on. I say to myself "Yes that rung way up there about half way up. I dust off my backside and start climbing again. Thankful for friends who know when to be there and when I need to get up on my own. It makes me angry sometimes. Yet I know I have to stand on my own two feet. No leaning and being a drama queen. I read about my conversion disorder lastnight online. I read that with all my complications it may be years before I heal. I read 82% of adults have to quit work due to their symptoms. Well I'm looking to be the % that makes it. I had to come to grips AGAIN that the traumas that brought me to this point took a life time to become what they are. It may take the rest of my life time to heal. I get to feeling tired of the fight and at times have wanted to give up. Then I look up that ladder and reach for what can be mine if I just keep reaching. No matter what else life throws my way there is always up.

Going threw Hell